Robbie Keane, Los Angeles Galaxy Are Simply Useless Without Each Other

May 17, 2015; Orlando, FL, USA; Los Angeles Galaxy midfielder Sebastian Lletget (17) kick the ball as midfielder Darwin Ceren (17) attempted to defend during the second half at Orlando Citrus Bowl Stadium. Orlando City SC defeated the Los Angeles Galaxy 4-0. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Being a Los Angeles Galaxy follower is a challenge these days. Not only did Bruce Arena’s Galaxy not show up against Adrian Heath’s Orlando City, they played like they were controlled by Luca DeLaGarza’s spirit up above on FIFA 15 at World Class difficulty. The Galaxy played like they were actors and not real athletes, having discovered the sport the day prior at a pickup game at Walt Disney World’s Wide World of Sports.

The real reason why the Galaxy are on this losing streak: Robbie Keane’s nagging injuries that have not subsided. And the longer he continues to be sidelined, the less useful he is to the Galaxy’s fortunes this year. I don’t believe a club like LA should pay a designated player millions for just training and lifting weights and eating Herbalife supplements and do PR spots and not show up in a competitive match. The trainers have to take the fall for this, the club has to take the fall for not being able to adjust, and the player has to take the fall for not being useful to the club on match day.

If I’m Robbie Keane, I can go one of two ways: I work into overdrive to get out on the pitch and become of use to my team ASAP because my club is in a world of hurt and won’t get Steven Gerrard until July (and frankly, Gerrard to me, is a overpaid nobody until he backs it up with a strong effort on the pitch with goals and assist, essentially picking up from where he left off at Liverpool), or, at the end of the season, I talk to Bruce Arena about my career options, as to whether I should take a pay cut or head home to Ireland to pursue a managerial position.

Major League Soccer should not be considered a retirement home for established names in which playing is optional. You have to play and deal with the rigors of this league, or you have no choice but to change course, and goes with every player, whether you are a DP or a rank-and-file.

You see, the Los Angeles Galaxy are useless without Robbie Keane, and Robbie Keane himself is useless when he can’t help the Los Angeles Galaxy. I like inserting Japanese pop culture references on this blog, and this reminds me of how Sora and Shiro from No Game No Life (a classic series, recommended for comedy purposes) depend on each other to be successful, otherwise they both fail. I have noticed this the past several weeks: as it currently stands, everyone is useless. And it’s not my fault, because my job here is to chronicle the highs and lows of the Los Angeles Galaxy here on the View From Avalon.

So what does the embattled Bruce “The Not-So-Mighty” have to say about this? Wait a second: don’t tell me you’re trying to be the Mick Malthouse of this competition!!? (Look up his name. AFL personality, for the record.)

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“We were awful on the day,” said Arena. “I had 14 players that played and I thought about three of them played in an acceptable manner. We were outplayed all over the field.

“Really, there’s not much you can say. In the second half, we needed to get the first goal. Certainly, what I thought was a poor call by the referee for the penalty that basically put us out of the game. Orlando played well, I give them credit. And we were pretty bad.

“Starting two young players in the attack probably didn’t help, but our passing was so poor. For us to connect on anything it was dangerous and next to impossible because of the quality of our passing. We had a majority of players that didn’t play well.

“What are you going to do? It’s our guys’ job to stand up for players that can’t play and we didn’t get that done today.”

May 17, 2015; Orlando, FL, USA; Orlando City SC midfielder Kaka (10) and teammates high five and hug after they beat the Los Angeles Galaxy at Orlando Citrus Bowl Stadium. Orlando City SC defeated the Los Angeles Galaxy 4-0. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

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“Guys could have made plays,” said a smug A.J. DeLaGarza. (As in, facetiously smug. Also as in, disgusted.) “Started off with a bad ball across the field and losing it, they came down and scored. Nothing went right. Just gotta get up and move on.

“We’re all professionals. We’ve all been through one of these at some points in our lives. Least experienced lineup that we’ve probably every played with.

“I’ve been here 7 years and probably the worst game. It’s just not who we are. Look at ourselves in the mirror and move on I guess. Have to get better every week and try different things. Sometimes they don’t work, this is one of those times. We need to move on. It’s just a night where a lot of us didn’t do well. We need to look forward to Houston on Friday.”

Dear A.J., your son up above, Luca, tried World Class on FIFA 15 with you guys. Better hope he doesn’t do that again. You’re welcome.

“In reality it doesn’t really matter if we lose 2-1 or 4-0,” said forward Alan Gordon. “When you take a big loss like this, it hurts deep, and you got to make a real assessment of what is going on out there and change things. We should be upset, we should be very upset. Take it personal and not let it happen again.”

There’s a problem with that, neighbor. (Gordon is from my hometown, Long Beach.) Your next opponent is the Houston Dynamo, who crushed Portland at home and will be looking at this smelling blood in the waters off Manhattan Beach. But…go on…

“There was no flow in the game, and every time we started to get something going, we lost the ball,” Gordon said. “Our passing continues to struggle and we got to get guys that can hold on to the ball and help each other out.”

Gee, could one of those guys Gordo hinted at be…Robbie Keane? Ding, ding, ding, winner, winner, bacon wrapped hot dog dinner with a shot of whiskey and water! So let me reiterate: Keane and the Galaxy need each other on the pitch to get their form/morale/collective sanity back up again or they are useless and ANY TEAM can beat them. Even the Ventura County Fusion or even the LA Galaxy II. (By the way, both those teams are facing each other in the U.S. Open Cup this week, if you were paying attention. Preview coming up soon.)

Get used to seeing this Los Angeles Galaxy team struggle and struggle and struggle and struggle if it doesn’t have its captain, who himself is a liability if he can’t get on the pitch to be a hero to his men. And remember, it’s not The View From Avalon’s fault that the Galaxy are bringing themselves into disrepute: we simply write about it.

Keep it here on The View From Avalon, part the FanSided Network, for more Los Angeles Galaxy news.

Next: 2015 MLS Power Rankings: Week 11

More from The View from Avalon

• The View From Avalon Will be Moving to MLS Multiplex
• LA Galaxy Sign Two LA Galaxy II Players For U.S. Open Cup Game
• Why Do the LA Galaxy Keep Allowing Goals Late in Games?
• LA Galaxy vs Portland Timbers: Pre-Match Facts
• LA Galaxy Misspell Steven Gerrard’s Name on His Jersey Against San Jose